How I Moved Out of My Parents House
It's been almost 2 months since I moved out of my parents' house. I moved to this city with just a suitcase in Oct, 2020.
I had no plan or much money, but here I have everything I need to feel physically safe and comfortable.
Sometimes I would feel that I'm all alone and anxious. I allow myself to feel these emotions.
In this post I am going to share how I moved out of my parents' house after five years of living with them. I hope it will lend some inspiration.
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Many of us experience moving back in with parents in our Ascension process because there are unresolved issues.
In 2016, I was forced to return to my country, Japan, after over 20 years of living abroad. I ended up staying in my parents house for five years.
During the last couple of years, I worked hard on establishing my own business, so that one day I will be able to move out of Japan and have a life 'again'. That was my plan.
But that day never came.
Some of us want to move out of our parents' home but just can't no matter how hard we try. We always have a list of obstacles or reasons why we cannot. We still find ourselves in the same spot after many years.
Because physical limitations or obstacles are the manifestation of subconscious self-sabotage. Meaning there are issues in ourselves that we still haven't looked at. All these limitations and obstacles manifest outwardly.
We must turn every rock and look.
Sabotaging oneself simply means that we refuse to show up and own the responsibilities for ourselves. Owing our own responsibilities isn’t easy. It's painful. So, we try to avoid it at all costs. But eventually we have to pay.
When we keep sabotaging ourselves, what the Universe does to awaken us is simple. It makes the 'comfort zone' uncomfortable.
In Oct, 2020, I had a huge falling out with my parents. The tension between us was high and so unbearably painful that I had no other choice but to move out.
But the problem was that I still had so many physical limitations and obstacles. I'm a freelancer and don't fulfill the requirements for having a rental contract for an apartment in Japan. I had nowhere to go.
I didn't know what to do and spent an entire night praying. I didn't sleep. And the lead came in the next morning out of the blue. Although I was skeptical, I had no other choice. I decided to grab it.
The moment I made up my mind, things started falling into places. All the things I thought were impossible suddenly became possible. Solutions were given to all the issues I had. Information and people needed started showing up. I booked a one-way flight ticket in the midst of pandemic.
Everything went smoothly.
Two days later, I was sitting in a furnished apartment in a city that is 1400 km away from my hometown.
If you want to know what's preventing you from moving out of your parents' house, see if you still have:
unresolved karmic issues with parents
an unhealed attachment trauma
you still need/want your parents to love you
resistance for something
Parent-child relationship is pure karma. We all picked our parents based on how we want to resolve our karmic cycle.
I was born into a very toxic and dysfunctional environment. At some point in the journey, my soul entered a cycle of abuse. We play perpetrators and victims in turn throughout many life times.
We're living in duality where the perpetrator and the victim are both in one person. It's just like the front and back side of the same coin. It can't be separated. We have to own them both.
One of my lessons in this lifetime is to heal a 'parent/child enmeshment' wound. I was codependent with my parents and repeated this pattern with my ex-partner who was my child in our previous life time.
The way I felt towards my ex-partner was very motherly and protective. I felt that I always want to worry about and protect him. This is the 'parent/child enmeshment' wound and exactly how my mother treated me.
The moment I realized this, I knew what I needed to do. I started getting totally independent from my parents in every way possible and stopped worrying about my ex-partner.
2. Attachment Trauma
People who end up living with parents tend to have attachment traumas. In the deep level of our subconscious mind, we don't feel 'safe'.
If you want to learn more about attachment trauma, please watch these:
We suffer from the lack of a sense of security and self-reliance. We just can't feel that we belong to this planet and safe.
Healing an attachment trauma is a must in the Ascension process. We all need to work on healing our inner-child.
3. 'I Still Want My Parents To Love Me'
It's painful to confront the fact that we weren't loved by our own parents.
In an ideal world, every child is loved unconditionally by the parents. But in reality, that's often not the case. Some of us have parents who just can't love because of their own wounds and pain.
We can't get blood out of a stone.
We can't avoid feeling the pain forever. At some point, we must accept the reality and move on. That means we allow ourselves to feel the pain and start loving ourselves.
To do that, we need to acknowledge and own our anger, resentment, frustration, despair, sorrow inside that need to be healed.
These are all valid emotions. Never try to deny or suppress your emotions.
Instead, read these out loud;
I want you to see me.
I want you to hear me.
I want you to listen to me.
I want you to understand me.
I want you to love me.
And let the energy flow.
I had strong resistance to living in my own community and country, Japan. That is one of the biggest reasons why I couldn't move out of my parents house for many years.
When we were emotionally or energetically rejected as a child by our own family, usually this is the case.
People from dysfunctional families often have weak root chakras because of attachment trauma. They can't ground or connect to the community and people because their root chakras are dysfunctional.
So, healing attachment trauma is a must if we want to make peace with our own community and people. Seek the environment where you feel safe and seek the people who you feel comfortable with, who can accept just the way you are. Stay away from toxic people.
Face Your Fear
When we have strong resistance for something, either consciously or unconsciously, energy doesn't flow. Imagine a river whose water cannot flow naturally. It's exhausting and doesn't work. In order to align with the energy flow, we must let go of all the resistance we have.
But why is it so hard?
Because we all have fears for the worst-case scenario whatever that means to you.
My worst-case scenario was that I will have to live in Japan for the rest of my life. The pain was too severe that I unconsciously kept pushing the fear away and stayed focusing on the future I want. That's a form of escapism.
In Oct 2020, I was pushed to confront every shadow aspect that I had. And after a while, I've reached the point where I was ok if I have to settle in Japan for a while.
I am not looking forward to living here forever. But if I have to, I will accept it. And I am ok with it.
When I do things from this place, there is less resistance. And energy finally started flowing.
Healing is an ongoing process and it's a life long journey. It's crucial for us to have a clear perspective on things and ourselves.
I hope this post helped. If you need support or assistance for working on your case, please consider my 1 on 1 session.
If you want to read this article on printer friendly PDF format, you can get your free copy here.
I wish you a very good year ahead.
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